E A SUCCESFUL LIFE BY CHANGING YOUR PERSONALITY
' You are what you eat"' so the saying goes. Your physical body is made by what you eat. In the same way to achieve spiritual growth you need to feed your mind and spirit with the proper diet that is the material you read, what you listen to and what you believe in.
There is only one person you can change or improve in the universe and that person is you. God gave us the power of choice and you can choose to have a pleasant personality.
Do this small exercise: Close your eyes for at least a minute and visualize what kind of a person you would like to be. Then write down whatever emerges and practice it for today only.
Try to get an accurate picture in your mind, even if you consider it's fulfillment in reality impossible. You must develop within you a new knowing that you have the capacity through your spiritual self to create any change that you can conceive of for yourself. To change your mentality, you have to first create space in your mind by getting rid of the self limiting beliefs that have been instilled in you and that you have entertained for long. Once you have gotten rid of this beliefs then you can relearn new ways of thinking. Remember as a man Thinketh so he is.
The beliefs you have to get rid of are summarised below :
1. I cannot change this is me and that's the way I am instead have a 'can do it attitude': It took me some time to get rid of this habit. I would constantly tell my husband that is the way I am and it almost cost me my marriage. I was a hard nut to crack, but then I realised I wasn't hurting him but myself. If you find yourself believing that you must always be the way you are, you are arguing with growth.
I also thought I was introvert and I was so fearful of almost everything including speaking to people in any gathering. I would come late and leave early to avoid contact with people, I didn't even have friends except my sisters and maybe if there is an area in life where we would meet more often then you would be my friend. But after so much soul searching and reading books especially Dr Wayne Dyer and Steve Pavillana I changed my way of thinking and it bore fruits. I have many friends and I'm more courageous and I believe I add value to the people I meet.
You must create a knowing within that you have the power to create whatever kind of a person you want to become, in all areas of your life.
You were not borne a coward, shy or even an angry person but very empty and these characteristics developed as you met and socialised with family and friends. Being Kind, Generous, bold, Loving and other good virtues can be developed right now in your life. Take a day at a time. Try today to be different that is all that you wish to be and see the change coming in. All things are possible through Christ who give us strength.
2. The second self defeating belief you need to get rid of is " It's in my genes, I inherited it from.... its in our blood there is nothing I can do about it
Some time back at home, My only brother was very difficult and we wondered where he would have picked the habit of drinking and smoking from apart from his peers. But then we concluded that relatives from my dad's side at that age got difficult and out of hand. We started giving examples of relatives we knew who were just like my brother and thought we had solved the problem by believing it was hereditary.
My advise on this issue is that let your inheritance be physical only and not spiritual. Do not blame it on the genes. The spirit has no limitation but our bodies do. You can have your mother eye's, your father's nose or your grandmother's ears and let it stop at that.
When it comes to personal growth you can never inherit you choose to believe or to be like another.
In my country Kenya, there is a belief that there are three tribes that are short tempered, the Kisii's(my tribe) The Kuria and Merus. You do not mess around with anyone from this three tribes or else you are dead meat. Well it's a belief and so many have adopted this and needless to say they live in misery.
What is it that you have inherited that is limiting you. Get rid of it today!
Search within yourself and write down all the inherited habits in you and work towards eliminating them each day and see yourself grow to greater heights.
Do not forget that God is part of the change in you. Remember what Jesus said. ' If you obey my commandments My father and I will dwell in you, therefore be assured that Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world.'
3. My family made me who I am today: So many people put blame on the way they were raised. I heard of a story of a son who became a thief and when he was finally caught for committing robbery with violence he was sentenced to death. He made a wish that he wanted to see his mother, his wish was granted and when his mother came, he told her he wanted to whisper something in her ears but instead he bit her so hard that the ear hang almost loose from the side. The reason he did this was because his mother did not teach him well or try to stop him whenever he did wrong.
Other people have grown up in poverty and due to the scarcity mind they become rough and even at times violent. Others who have grown in physical wealth have become arrogant and all this blame it on their upbringing.
It is time you realised that you will reap what you sow and not what your parents sowed in you. You cannot continue living a blame game and knowing that you have no role to play over your growth and change. As long as you are convinced that your family is responsible for the kind of person that you are today, you are trapped in that cycle.In as much as you cannot eliminate the influences that were very much your childhood, you and you alone decide whether they persist. If your family influences your behavior then you are not in control, they are controlling you and this could be disastrous to you because human beings are mortal beings and one day when they are gone you will have no one to look up to or blame for your attitude or behavior except yourself. We don't want that time to come and that is why you have to take full charge of your life today and shake off any family influences that will destroy you.
4. My society, culture and times determines my personality. If you go by the waves and current trends, you are in for big trouble because you will never know who you are and define yourself as an individual in the society.
Who is your role mode, why are you living someone else life doing what they do, talking and walking like them and even dressing like them. You should take time from all these waves and trends to know who you are and your purpose in life otherwise time will go past very fast and before you know it you will be regretting abut everything.Everyone who has ever made a difference in the world has been an innovator. An innovator does not look at the cultural norms but looks within and allows his/her conscience and commitment to a purpose.Your thinking is yours, originating with you, the society in which you find yourself is simply the stage upon which you are acting out your miracles.
Hesbon Nyambane is a leading authority on helping people realize their purpose in life . He is a born again christian based in Nairobi,Kenya. you can reach me at my blog www.thesecretwill.com
